What are you tolerating?

Healthy Lifestyle, Life Coaching, Relationships

You must be tired of the same old thing. Relationships that do not work have a way of repeating themselves, over and over and over again. Relationships require time, attention, energy and yes, some work. Great relationships don’t just happen. Stressors wreak havoc on relationships- even the best of them.

Notice that when people are under stress, we tend to regress. For example, my son, when 5 months old, was so proud of himself because he had learned to how to sit up on his own. It was a major milestone. However, when he developed an ear infection, he temporarily let go of the sitting skill- he had to focus on getting well so his attention went to feeling better. We all regress when stressed; it is a very normal pattern. So to have great relationships, we need to be constantly addressing what we really want in our lives. We need to be very clear, and determined to make our relationships the cement in our lives.

Let’s look at three easy steps to make this work for you. First, ask yourself, what are you tolerating in your relationships? A partner who does not support your dreams? A friend whose sarcasm hurts? A child who lies to you? A parent who treats you like you are still ten years old? A boss who is unfair? Choose one relationship that is pivotal in your life and that you are committed to change. It does not matter if this relationship is easy or hard to change- just identify it.

Second, decide right now what you want to change, and how you want to change it. Specifically, how would you change yourself around this person? What requests would you like to make of this person, to change your interactions in a more positive way?

Third, write down your intention to change particular relationship. Put it own your refrigerator, your bathroom mirror, your car dashboard, your appointment book. Make this goal very visible, and have the goal come to life for you. It is easy to decide to change in your head, but we often become distracted and the goal does not happen. It can be easy to create this change, if you follow the right steps and if you hold yourself accountable.

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